Acne · Beautiful · Beauty · Blessing · Confidence · Define beauty · God is good · God’s blessing · Journey · Lessons · love · Pretty · Right person · Self esteem · Self worth · Stress

My Acne Journey

Not everyone was blessed with flawless skin.

Unfortunately, Me and my siblings inherited “acne-prone” skin from our parents.

I didn’t have much acne back in highschool & even in my college years.

But after I graduated college, I started having these “cystic acne”.

They’ve become worse when I started my review for the board exam. I think stress made them worse.

I got really bothered.

One morning while I was walking, a fruit vendor passed by me and said “Bili na kayo nakakatanggal ng pimples.”

I felt offended and I felt so much pain in my chest at that moment.

That’s when I’ve decided to visit “dermcare” to have a diamond peel session and buy some of their anti-acne products.

Luckily, I’ve got much clearer skin after just one session.

But a year after, I started having acne again.

But this time much worse than my past breakouts.

And almost everyone else at work criticized me for having acne.

They were like “What happened to your skin?” “You have flawless skin before.” “What have you been doing to your face?” “What happened to your face?”

I’ve tried searching for ways on how to lessen and cure my acne.

I’ve tried using hypoallergenic, non-comedogenic products, organic products and such but none of these helped.

So, I’ve decided to visit a dermatologist this time.

She prescribed “isotretinoin”. A medicine for severe acne.

But, this medicine will take effect only after several months of taking it.

My dermatologist warned me about getting more breakouts while taking isotretinoin for the first 3-4 months.

But after 3-4 months, my skin will have minimal breakouts or none at all.

I took the risk.

It was not easy at all.

Everyday, I had to face all of these people looking at my face like they get really disgusted with my acne.

And I cried almost every night looking at myself in the mirror.

I prayed every night to have the strength to face all these people criticizing me everyday.

They had no idea how much confidence I lost because of their criticisms.

It almost felt like I had no confidence left at all.

I never go out without make up back then.

I even want to wear a mask everytime I go to work and everytime I go home.

I almost didn’t want to go out with my friends.

But I believe God made a way.

He made me regain my confidence when I met this “guy”—

And this guy is now my boyfriend.

He looked at me differently.

Beyond my acne and imperfections.

Whenever he stares at me, I feel like I’m the most beautiful woman on earth.

Thank God I met him.

Slowly, I started having clearer skin as I continue taking my meds.

And now, All that’s left are these “marks”.

And everytime I look at myself in the mirror, these marks still remind me of how people criticized me because of being imperfect.

And these also remind me of how a guy loved me despite my flaws.

He helped me gain all the confidence that I’ve lost before.

To everyone suffering from acne, Don’t lose hope.

It is normal to get offended by the opinion of others, but don’t let their opinion bring you down.

Those acne will soon heal, those marks will soon disappear but the lessons learned will never fade away.

Just remember that God created all of us unique and beautiful.

It only takes the right eyes & the right heart to appreciate our beauty. ❤️

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Blessing · for you · God gave me you · God is good · God’s blessing · Life · love · love story · Magmahal · Mahal · open letter · Pag-ibig · Pray · Right person · Right time

Happy birthday my Love

January 15..

For others, it will just be a typical day.

A Typical monday..

But for me, It is a day I will always be grateful for.

The day my Love was born.

Love, As you turn 22 today I can only pray for your happiness, strength and success in life.

Thank you my love for always being there for me.

For your never ending patience and love.

For loving me beyond my flaws and imperfections.

I remember those days when I cry almost every night because I felt so down.

I felt so ugly.

But you were there.

And you have always reminded me that I shouldn’t feel that way.

Because I am beautiful.

And yes, you made me feel beautiful.

You made me feel taken care of.

You made me feel loved.

Whenever you look at me.

I see the look of genuine love.

And it melts my heart inside.

I have never felt this way before.

And no one ever made me feel this way.

I’ve prayed for a guy who’ll love me.

But God blessed me with more than what I’ve prayed for.

A guy who would open doors for me.

A guy who picks me up at home or at work.

A guy I could visit churches with.

A guy I could pray with.

A guy I could hear mass with.

A guy who loves my family and friends like the way I do.

A guy who only comes once in this lifetime.

Happy Birthday My Blessing, My B, My love.

If I could only do more to make your day very special and memorable, I’d do it for sure.

I want to make you happy today love.

I want to make you feel loved in all ways that I can.

I love you so much, My love. ❤️

Falling · for you · God gave me you · God is good · God’s blessing · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · Mahal · open letter · Right person · Right time · Self esteem · Surprise

My Blessing and Surprise.

I still feel everything is surreal.

I fell in love with someone unexpectedly.

Or maybe I’ve fallen for him but I chose to ignore the feeling.

Why?

I’m not sure.

Maybe because I was too darn afraid to get hurt again.

For the nth time.

I was too afraid to be left hanging again.

I was too afraid to be judged by others.

Lastly, I was too focused with the idea of loving my close friend — who never saw me and never loved me in return.

I am but amazed how God made His way for Us — to fall in love with each other.

He showed me how nice you were.

How caring you were.

How loving you were to your friends and to your family.

I saw everything.

And still chose to ignore everything because I’ve always thought it will never work.

You’re just too nice for me.

You’re too gentle for me.

I’m too much of a brat — that nobody could ever handle my mood swings and attitude.

Surprisingly, you were able to handle everything — at my best and even at my worst.

You even saw me at my lowest point.

When I felt criticized, when I felt invisible, When I felt ugly because of my acne.

But you saw beyond what people usually see.

What people usually notice.

What people usually look at.

My imperfections.

My flaws.

You saw the beauty that nobody almost saw in me.

And I thank God for you, for helping me regain what I’ve lost — my self esteem.

My gratefulness always brings me into tears.

Because I’ve realized you are indeed God’s blessing.

You are an answered prayer.

You are a dream come true.

You are my happiness.

You make me a better person.

& You are one of my favorite Blessings.

I’ll never be ashamed to show how much I love you.

How much I want this relationship to work.

How much risks I’m willing to take.

Because I know this is worth it, we are worth it and you are worth it. ❤️

Beautiful · Beauty · Define beauty · Someday

Self Esteem? Self Confidence?

I know I often write stuff about love.

But this time I’m writing something different.

I’ve been struggling these past few weeks because of acne.

I’ve been having breakouts for less than a month now so I’ve decided to visit a Dermatologist.

It’s the worst I’ve felt so far.

Everyone’s been asking..

“What happened to your face?”

“Why do you have lots of pimples?”

“Why don’t you visit a dermatologist?”

“You used to have flawless skin! What happened?” 

I honestly don’t know how to answer these questions.

Are these even questions or criticisms?

It hurts me so much.

I feel very ugly everyday. 

and I’ve been feeling really down.

I don’t even want to go out.

Or go to work.

I even want to wear a mask even when I’m on my way home. 

I’m taking medications given by my dermatologist for 10 days now (but she informed me that I’ll have breakouts for the first month.)

I can’t wait for my meds to take effect.

I’m tired of people looking at my face like they’re disgusted.

I mean, Who wants to have acne?

Who wants to have blemished skin?

I bet no one.

I don’t get it why people become so insensitive.

People have become very shallow.

All they can see is the imperfect you.

The flawed you.

The ugly in you.

Nobody is perfect.

So don’t expect me to be perfect.

People tend to forget to see beyond the physical appearance.

The heart.

The soul.

The kindness within.

I’m not surprised why a lot of people get depressed because of insensitive criticisms.

Where do I get my self esteem?

Where do I get the self confidence that I’m slowly losing? 

Why do people have to criticize if they are truly concerned about you?

I can’t wait to regain what I’ve lost and what I’m losing.

I can’t wait to get better. 

I can’t wait to have my old self back.

Falling · for you · love · love story · Magmahal · Masaktan · Pag-ibig · secret love · Self worth · Someday · Unnoticed

Bakit ikaw?

Minsan iniisip ko..

Kung bakit sa’yo nahulog ako..

Hindi ka nga perpekto..

Pero ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko..

Ni minsan hindi mo ako nakita..

At hindi ako sigurado kung ako ba’y iyong naaalala…

Ang hirap ng ganito..

Nagmamahal ng patago..

Walang kasiguraduhan.. 

Sugal ang nararamdaman.

Kung pwede lang turuan ang puso.

Matagal ko nang ginawa ito.

Kayhirap mong bitawan.

Kayhirap mong kalimutan.

Kahit wala naman tayong nakaraan.

Lagi kong dinadasal.

Na sana ikaw na ang bigay ng Maykapal.

At sana mapagod na rin ako.

Sa pagmamahal sa’yo.

At nang matigil na ang kagagahang ito.

Ayoko na ring umasa sa wala. 

Sakit lang ang laging napapala. 

Falling · Friendzone · Ikaw · Magmahal · Mahal · Masaktan · Pag-ibig · Sana · Someday

An Open Letter to my friend (whom I’ve fallen in love with…) 

Hi Love!

I always miss you.

I don’t know why I miss you even when you’re around.

How do I tell you how I feel?

should I even tell you about it?

You’ll be away for a while.

And I’m not sure how it’s like to spend the week without you.

How much more a month without you?

You have fun, my love.

I want to see you wear that heart-melting smile.

I want you to make unforgettable memories with your family.

I’d be happier just seeing you happy.

I’m excited to hear all your stories when you come back.

I’ll never get tired of listening to you.

Will you miss me too?

I don’t want to know if you do.

I already know the answer.

I don’t even have to ask. 

I love you still, my love.

Even though I’m not sure if you feel the same way. 

And even though I am just a friend to you.

I will always care for you.

I will miss you. 

I always will.

I can’t wait for you to come back. ❤️

Falling · Hanging · Ikaw · Leaving · love · Magmahal · Masaktan · open letter · Pag-ibig · Self worth

To the guy who left me hanging.

It’s been a week since we’ve stopped communicating.

I just want you to know that I’m not mad, I’m just hurting.

I saw you yesterday.

But I chose to look away.

It’s so hard to pretend that everything’s okay.

When all I wanted to say is “please stay.”

You let me go just like that.

Maybe I wasn’t important to you and it made me sad.

We used to talk everyday.

And you made me so happy in your simplest ways.

You’re not hard to love.

I just got tired of loving you.

Hindi ka naman mahirap mahalin.

Nakakapagod ka lang mahalin.

I won’t count everything that I’ve given.

I won’t get mad just because I can.

I just wish you’ve told me earlier.

That you have no plans of staying for good.

Or.. Is it just me expecting too much from you?

I don’t want to hear all those reasons.

Because if I really mattered, you could’ve fought for me. for us. 

There was never an “us” to begin with.

Then what were we?

Nothing? Something?

Are you just nice to me as you were to everyone else? 

Nothing was ever clear my dear.

And that’s what I would always fear.

To be an “almost.”

To be “temporary”.

To be a “for now”.

You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Though I told you, Yes I will be alright.

Well, now you know. I lied.
I’ll never forget you because of the pain you’ve caused.

These scars will remain.

But i’m sure I’ll learn to live with the pain.

….

To the guy who left me hanging..

Goodbye and I hope you’re happier without me. 

Blessing · God is good · Leaving · Life · love · Love advice · Pag-ibig · Pray · Rain · Right time · Self worth · Someday

Thoughts on a rainy night.

And so I thought this rain,

Will bring me chills instead of pain.

I know these tears won’t ever fall.

For the person who doesn’t deserve these at all.

Oh dear self, you know how fragile you always get.

Don’t ever do something you might regret.

Keep those worth keeping.

Leave those worth leaving.

To those people who don’t seem to appreciate you,

Let them go if they want to.

Once they’ve realized your value, 

They’ll do everything just to have you.

But then, you’ll be the best thing they’ll never have.

Forgive even if you’re hurt.

Smile even if it’s hard.

Dear, you deserve so much more

and that’s for sure.

Allow the rain to wash your pain.

Let your tears take away those fears.

You’ll be okay in time.

Just when the sun shines.

You’ll be more than fine.

God has better plans.

He’ll make you happy in the best way that He can.

Trust His perfect timing.

Because He never wants to see you hurting.

Stay happy, stay bubbly.

For tomorrow should never make you worry. 

Good things will come your way.

So please don’t let temporary people ruin your day.

Everything’s going to be okay.

Just close your eyes and Pray. 💓🙏🏻 

Life · love · Love advice · Mahal · Pag-ibig

Choose to love

How do you know you love someone? 

Is it when you care too much?

Is it when you’re having a bad day and their mere presence makes your day better? 

I asked several people about this matter.

And they didn’t manage to give me a decent answer.

Maybe love is unexplainable.

Maybe love is indescribable.

We all got these feelings we couldn’t express.

Maybe we’re afraid to take risks.

Or we already know the answer without even asking.

The joyous feeling that love gives us is beyond measure.

So as the pain and suffering we’re all trying to endure. 

How do you know when to stop?

Is it when you’ve had enough?

Will you just give up?

I guess love itself will never be enough.

When you love, you give.

You give your all until there’s nothing left to give. 

You give until it freaking hurts and give more until it no longer hurts.

The idea of love seems perfect.

But love is accepting the imperfect.

Accepting the things we can never change.

Letting go of the past that hurt us.

Facing whatever comes and whatever goes.

When things just don’t get better

That’s when we become tougher.

Choose to love because you can.

Choose to love because it is worth it.

Choose to Love.

Choose to Give.

And choose to Live. 💓

for you · God gave me you · Ikaw · open letter · Right person · Right time · Someday

Slowly but surely

Right now one thing’s certain, You make me really happy.

Thank you for treating me nicely.

When I felt like everyone’s giving up on me.

I’m not really hard to please.

A simple phone call or text message.. I’d be at ease.

Yes, we are friends right now.

What is to come .. is still unsure somehow. 

I actually don’t mind getting to know you slowly.

Please know that I’m not in a hurry.

Hey, you don’t have to be sorry. 

And don’t you feel guilty.

I’m always here for you.

And I feel that you’re always there for me too. 

Even the most typical stories you could tell.

I’d still choose to listen to them all day. 

Why don’t we have coffee again?

I loved those mornings filled with smiles and laughters. 

I thank God everyday for making our paths cross.

I always pray that you’ll stick around for good. 

Because I’m sure I’d always annoy you for as long as I could.

I’d love to make more memories with you.

I’d love to share more meals with you.

I’d love to listen about how your day went. 

No matter how bad it is, I’ll find a way to make it a better one. 

It’s very rare for me to write when I’m happy.

I usually write when I’m lonely.

But this time, I’m writing because I’m grateful.

Because of you.

Let’s not rush things.

Everything will fall into place when God says it’s time.

Thank you for coming into my life.

Thank you for making things right.

💓