Beautiful · Beauty · Define beauty · Someday

Self Esteem? Self Confidence?

I know I often write stuff about love.

But this time I’m writing something different.

I’ve been struggling these past few weeks because of acne.

I’ve been having breakouts for less than a month now so I’ve decided to visit a Dermatologist.

It’s the worst I’ve felt so far.

Everyone’s been asking..

“What happened to your face?”

“Why do you have lots of pimples?”

“Why don’t you visit a dermatologist?”

“You used to have flawless skin! What happened?” 

I honestly don’t know how to answer these questions.

Are these even questions or criticisms?

It hurts me so much.

I feel very ugly everyday. 

and I’ve been feeling really down.

I don’t even want to go out.

Or go to work.

I even want to wear a mask even when I’m on my way home. 

I’m taking medications given by my dermatologist for 10 days now (but she informed me that I’ll have breakouts for the first month.)

I can’t wait for my meds to take effect.

I’m tired of people looking at my face like they’re disgusted.

I mean, Who wants to have acne?

Who wants to have blemished skin?

I bet no one.

I don’t get it why people become so insensitive.

People have become very shallow.

All they can see is the imperfect you.

The flawed you.

The ugly in you.

Nobody is perfect.

So don’t expect me to be perfect.

People tend to forget to see beyond the physical appearance.

The heart.

The soul.

The kindness within.

I’m not surprised why a lot of people get depressed because of insensitive criticisms.

Where do I get my self esteem?

Where do I get the self confidence that I’m slowly losing? 

Why do people have to criticize if they are truly concerned about you?

I can’t wait to regain what I’ve lost and what I’m losing.

I can’t wait to get better. 

I can’t wait to have my old self back.

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7 thoughts on “Self Esteem? Self Confidence?

  1. I really hope you will have clear skin very soon! 🙂
    Of course, when things happened all of a sudden, we tend to be more cautious or more sensitive to what people have to say or to ask. It all depends on how they formulate their questions or their intentions. I always keep an open mind to make myself feel better. So I would be telling myself, “at least they asked, and did not just simply gave me a dirty look and judge me.” Get well soon!! ‘ox

    Liked by 1 person

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