Beautiful · Beauty · Define beauty · Someday

Self Esteem? Self Confidence?

I know I often write stuff about love.

But this time I’m writing something different.

I’ve been struggling these past few weeks because of acne.

I’ve been having breakouts for less than a month now so I’ve decided to visit a Dermatologist.

It’s the worst I’ve felt so far.

Everyone’s been asking..

“What happened to your face?”

“Why do you have lots of pimples?”

“Why don’t you visit a dermatologist?”

“You used to have flawless skin! What happened?” 

I honestly don’t know how to answer these questions.

Are these even questions or criticisms?

It hurts me so much.

I feel very ugly everyday. 

and I’ve been feeling really down.

I don’t even want to go out.

Or go to work.

I even want to wear a mask even when I’m on my way home. 

I’m taking medications given by my dermatologist for 10 days now (but she informed me that I’ll have breakouts for the first month.)

I can’t wait for my meds to take effect.

I’m tired of people looking at my face like they’re disgusted.

I mean, Who wants to have acne?

Who wants to have blemished skin?

I bet no one.

I don’t get it why people become so insensitive.

People have become very shallow.

All they can see is the imperfect you.

The flawed you.

The ugly in you.

Nobody is perfect.

So don’t expect me to be perfect.

People tend to forget to see beyond the physical appearance.

The heart.

The soul.

The kindness within.

I’m not surprised why a lot of people get depressed because of insensitive criticisms.

Where do I get my self esteem?

Where do I get the self confidence that I’m slowly losing? 

Why do people have to criticize if they are truly concerned about you?

I can’t wait to regain what I’ve lost and what I’m losing.

I can’t wait to get better. 

I can’t wait to have my old self back.

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Beautiful · Beauty · Define beauty · Pretty · Social media

How do we define beauty? 

These days, beauty can be very superficial.

Beauty that comes from within is often forgotten.

If you have a fair complexion.

You are beautiful.

If you have clear skin.

You are beautiful.

Thus if you have a dark complexion you are not beautiful for others.

If you have acne you are not beautiful either.

I had all these thoughts after observing social media these past few months or years. 

Beauty now is also based on the number of likes they get from their selfies. 

If you get less likes then others think you’re not pretty enough.

Beauty is also based on the gifts you get during special occasions like Valentines day. 

If you didn’t get even a single flower, then you aren’t beautiful enough.

Beauty became very shallow these days.

And it’s a bit depressing. 

It somehow decreases the self-esteem of most people.

Especially those people bullied because their selfies have gone viral in social media. 

Selfies that don’t look very beautiful for others.

Again, How do we define beauty?