Happy birthday my Love

January 15..

For others, it will just be a typical day.

A Typical monday..

But for me, It is a day I will always be grateful for.

The day my Love was born.

Love, As you turn 22 today I can only pray for your happiness, strength and success in life.

Thank you my love for always being there for me.

For your never ending patience and love.

For loving me beyond my flaws and imperfections.

I remember those days when I cry almost every night because I felt so down.

I felt so ugly.

But you were there.

And you have always reminded me that I shouldn’t feel that way.

Because I am beautiful.

And yes, you made me feel beautiful.

You made me feel taken care of.

You made me feel loved.

Whenever you look at me.

I see the look of genuine love.

And it melts my heart inside.

I have never felt this way before.

And no one ever made me feel this way.

I’ve prayed for a guy who’ll love me.

But God blessed me with more than what I’ve prayed for.

A guy who would open doors for me.

A guy who picks me up at home or at work.

A guy I could visit churches with.

A guy I could pray with.

A guy I could hear mass with.

A guy who loves my family and friends like the way I do.

A guy who only comes once in this lifetime.

Happy Birthday My Blessing, My B, My love.

If I could only do more to make your day very special and memorable, I’d do it for sure.

I want to make you happy today love.

I want to make you feel loved in all ways that I can.

I love you so much, My love. ❤️

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My Blessing and Surprise.

I still feel everything is surreal.

I fell in love with someone unexpectedly.

Or maybe I’ve fallen for him but I chose to ignore the feeling.

Why?

I’m not sure.

Maybe because I was too darn afraid to get hurt again.

For the nth time.

I was too afraid to be left hanging again.

I was too afraid to be judged by others.

Lastly, I was too focused with the idea of loving my close friend — who never saw me and never loved me in return.

I am but amazed how God made His way for Us — to fall in love with each other.

He showed me how nice you were.

How caring you were.

How loving you were to your friends and to your family.

I saw everything.

And still chose to ignore everything because I’ve always thought it will never work.

You’re just too nice for me.

You’re too gentle for me.

I’m too much of a brat — that nobody could ever handle my mood swings and attitude.

Surprisingly, you were able to handle everything — at my best and even at my worst.

You even saw me at my lowest point.

When I felt criticized, when I felt invisible, When I felt ugly because of my acne.

But you saw beyond what people usually see.

What people usually notice.

What people usually look at.

My imperfections.

My flaws.

You saw the beauty that nobody almost saw in me.

And I thank God for you, for helping me regain what I’ve lost — my self esteem.

My gratefulness always brings me into tears.

Because I’ve realized you are indeed God’s blessing.

You are an answered prayer.

You are a dream come true.

You are my happiness.

You make me a better person.

& You are one of my favorite Blessings.

I’ll never be ashamed to show how much I love you.

How much I want this relationship to work.

How much risks I’m willing to take.

Because I know this is worth it, we are worth it and you are worth it. ❤️

Bakit ikaw?

Minsan iniisip ko..

Kung bakit sa’yo nahulog ako..

Hindi ka nga perpekto..

Pero ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko..

Ni minsan hindi mo ako nakita..

At hindi ako sigurado kung ako ba’y iyong naaalala…

Ang hirap ng ganito..

Nagmamahal ng patago..

Walang kasiguraduhan.. 

Sugal ang nararamdaman.

Kung pwede lang turuan ang puso.

Matagal ko nang ginawa ito.

Kayhirap mong bitawan.

Kayhirap mong kalimutan.

Kahit wala naman tayong nakaraan.

Lagi kong dinadasal.

Na sana ikaw na ang bigay ng Maykapal.

At sana mapagod na rin ako.

Sa pagmamahal sa’yo.

At nang matigil na ang kagagahang ito.

Ayoko na ring umasa sa wala. 

Sakit lang ang laging napapala. 

An Open Letter to my friend (whom I’ve fallen in love with…) 

Hi Love!

I always miss you.

I don’t know why I miss you even when you’re around.

How do I tell you how I feel?

should I even tell you about it?

You’ll be away for a while.

And I’m not sure how it’s like to spend the week without you.

How much more a month without you?

You have fun, my love.

I want to see you wear that heart-melting smile.

I want you to make unforgettable memories with your family.

I’d be happier just seeing you happy.

I’m excited to hear all your stories when you come back.

I’ll never get tired of listening to you.

Will you miss me too?

I don’t want to know if you do.

I already know the answer.

I don’t even have to ask. 

I love you still, my love.

Even though I’m not sure if you feel the same way. 

And even though I am just a friend to you.

I will always care for you.

I will miss you. 

I always will.

I can’t wait for you to come back. ❤️

To the guy who left me hanging.

It’s been a week since we’ve stopped communicating.

I just want you to know that I’m not mad, I’m just hurting.

I saw you yesterday.

But I chose to look away.

It’s so hard to pretend that everything’s okay.

When all I wanted to say is “please stay.”

You let me go just like that.

Maybe I wasn’t important to you and it made me sad.

We used to talk everyday.

And you made me so happy in your simplest ways.

You’re not hard to love.

I just got tired of loving you.

Hindi ka naman mahirap mahalin.

Nakakapagod ka lang mahalin.

I won’t count everything that I’ve given.

I won’t get mad just because I can.

I just wish you’ve told me earlier.

That you have no plans of staying for good.

Or.. Is it just me expecting too much from you?

I don’t want to hear all those reasons.

Because if I really mattered, you could’ve fought for me. for us. 

There was never an “us” to begin with.

Then what were we?

Nothing? Something?

Are you just nice to me as you were to everyone else? 

Nothing was ever clear my dear.

And that’s what I would always fear.

To be an “almost.”

To be “temporary”.

To be a “for now”.

You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Though I told you, Yes I will be alright.

Well, now you know. I lied.
I’ll never forget you because of the pain you’ve caused.

These scars will remain.

But i’m sure I’ll learn to live with the pain.

….

To the guy who left me hanging..

Goodbye and I hope you’re happier without me. 

“My Almost and Could have Been? I hope Not.” 

When we met I felt you were the one. 
The one who will give my life a different hue. 

The one who will make my mornings better than they were before. 

The one who will make me smile and laugh for sure.
Maybe I expected too much from you.

Everything I felt was too good to be true.

Or I guess I never should have expect anything from you.

For it only gave me hope that this dream of “us” will soon come true. 
I thought so it might lead into something romantic.

Everything that I felt was magic.

It came as a hurricane.

And destroyed me more than storms cause pain.
I never intended to bother you in any way.

I didn’t want to oblige you to talk to me everyday.

But I honestly prayed you’re here to stay.

And be with me till the end of day. 
Everyone asked if we have this special thing.

I could only smile and say nothing.

Because I honestly don’t know what we were.

Am I just a friend or is it something uncertain?
These feelings are something we couldn’t fake.

Maybe I was that risk you didn’t want to take.

And I was like a scar you’ve always hid.

Or A tear you never want to shed. 
Why didn’t you warn me before I fell?

I didn’t know that it will hurt like hell.

I want to get to know you well.

Your fears and awes to me you can always tell. 
I never want you to be my “almost”.

I constantly wished you’d be my “always.”

My “everytime” in this world full of “sometime”.

And not just my “could have been or would have been.”

I just want to forget you.

I want to forget you.

I want to forget how you made me happy effortlessly.

You made me laugh endlessly.

And even in my dreams I love you deeply.

But how do I forget you?

When every minute of everyday I think of you.

I just want to get over this feeling.

I actually got tired of hoping.

Of waiting that you’ll feel my presence.

And see my existence.

In your big world full of people who matter more than I do.

Help me forget you.

Make me feel worthless if you have to.

I just want to get over you.

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.

This pain I’ve been trying to endure.

I can’t wait until I get used to this pain.

I can’t wait until someone comes to ease the pain.

And that someone will surely make me happier than you did.

Will make me cry because of too much laughter.

Will teach me how to trust and believe in love again.

And Will make me feel that I’m worth all the time and all the love he’ll give. ❤️