My Acne Journey

Not everyone was blessed with flawless skin.

Unfortunately, Me and my siblings inherited “acne-prone” skin from our parents.

I didn’t have much acne back in highschool & even in my college years.

But after I graduated college, I started having these “cystic acne”.

They’ve become worse when I started my review for the board exam. I think stress made them worse.

I got really bothered.

One morning while I was walking, a fruit vendor passed by me and said “Bili na kayo nakakatanggal ng pimples.”

I felt offended and I felt so much pain in my chest at that moment.

That’s when I’ve decided to visit “dermcare” to have a diamond peel session and buy some of their anti-acne products.

Luckily, I’ve got much clearer skin after just one session.

But a year after, I started having acne again.

But this time much worse than my past breakouts.

And almost everyone else at work criticized me for having acne.

They were like “What happened to your skin?” “You have flawless skin before.” “What have you been doing to your face?” “What happened to your face?”

I’ve tried searching for ways on how to lessen and cure my acne.

I’ve tried using hypoallergenic, non-comedogenic products, organic products and such but none of these helped.

So, I’ve decided to visit a dermatologist this time.

She prescribed “isotretinoin”. A medicine for severe acne.

But, this medicine will take effect only after several months of taking it.

My dermatologist warned me about getting more breakouts while taking isotretinoin for the first 3-4 months.

But after 3-4 months, my skin will have minimal breakouts or none at all.

I took the risk.

It was not easy at all.

Everyday, I had to face all of these people looking at my face like they get really disgusted with my acne.

And I cried almost every night looking at myself in the mirror.

I prayed every night to have the strength to face all these people criticizing me everyday.

They had no idea how much confidence I lost because of their criticisms.

It almost felt like I had no confidence left at all.

I never go out without make up back then.

I even want to wear a mask everytime I go to work and everytime I go home.

I almost didn’t want to go out with my friends.

But I believe God made a way.

He made me regain my confidence when I met this “guy”—

And this guy is now my boyfriend.

He looked at me differently.

Beyond my acne and imperfections.

Whenever he stares at me, I feel like I’m the most beautiful woman on earth.

Thank God I met him.

Slowly, I started having clearer skin as I continue taking my meds.

And now, All that’s left are these “marks”.

And everytime I look at myself in the mirror, these marks still remind me of how people criticized me because of being imperfect.

And these also remind me of how a guy loved me despite my flaws.

He helped me gain all the confidence that I’ve lost before.

To everyone suffering from acne, Don’t lose hope.

It is normal to get offended by the opinion of others, but don’t let their opinion bring you down.

Those acne will soon heal, those marks will soon disappear but the lessons learned will never fade away.

Just remember that God created all of us unique and beautiful.

It only takes the right eyes & the right heart to appreciate our beauty. ❤️

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Happy birthday my Love

January 15..

For others, it will just be a typical day.

A Typical monday..

But for me, It is a day I will always be grateful for.

The day my Love was born.

Love, As you turn 22 today I can only pray for your happiness, strength and success in life.

Thank you my love for always being there for me.

For your never ending patience and love.

For loving me beyond my flaws and imperfections.

I remember those days when I cry almost every night because I felt so down.

I felt so ugly.

But you were there.

And you have always reminded me that I shouldn’t feel that way.

Because I am beautiful.

And yes, you made me feel beautiful.

You made me feel taken care of.

You made me feel loved.

Whenever you look at me.

I see the look of genuine love.

And it melts my heart inside.

I have never felt this way before.

And no one ever made me feel this way.

I’ve prayed for a guy who’ll love me.

But God blessed me with more than what I’ve prayed for.

A guy who would open doors for me.

A guy who picks me up at home or at work.

A guy I could visit churches with.

A guy I could pray with.

A guy I could hear mass with.

A guy who loves my family and friends like the way I do.

A guy who only comes once in this lifetime.

Happy Birthday My Blessing, My B, My love.

If I could only do more to make your day very special and memorable, I’d do it for sure.

I want to make you happy today love.

I want to make you feel loved in all ways that I can.

I love you so much, My love. ❤️

My Blessing and Surprise.

I still feel everything is surreal.

I fell in love with someone unexpectedly.

Or maybe I’ve fallen for him but I chose to ignore the feeling.

Why?

I’m not sure.

Maybe because I was too darn afraid to get hurt again.

For the nth time.

I was too afraid to be left hanging again.

I was too afraid to be judged by others.

Lastly, I was too focused with the idea of loving my close friend — who never saw me and never loved me in return.

I am but amazed how God made His way for Us — to fall in love with each other.

He showed me how nice you were.

How caring you were.

How loving you were to your friends and to your family.

I saw everything.

And still chose to ignore everything because I’ve always thought it will never work.

You’re just too nice for me.

You’re too gentle for me.

I’m too much of a brat — that nobody could ever handle my mood swings and attitude.

Surprisingly, you were able to handle everything — at my best and even at my worst.

You even saw me at my lowest point.

When I felt criticized, when I felt invisible, When I felt ugly because of my acne.

But you saw beyond what people usually see.

What people usually notice.

What people usually look at.

My imperfections.

My flaws.

You saw the beauty that nobody almost saw in me.

And I thank God for you, for helping me regain what I’ve lost — my self esteem.

My gratefulness always brings me into tears.

Because I’ve realized you are indeed God’s blessing.

You are an answered prayer.

You are a dream come true.

You are my happiness.

You make me a better person.

& You are one of my favorite Blessings.

I’ll never be ashamed to show how much I love you.

How much I want this relationship to work.

How much risks I’m willing to take.

Because I know this is worth it, we are worth it and you are worth it. ❤️

Slowly but surely

Right now one thing’s certain, You make me really happy.

Thank you for treating me nicely.

When I felt like everyone’s giving up on me.

I’m not really hard to please.

A simple phone call or text message.. I’d be at ease.

Yes, we are friends right now.

What is to come .. is still unsure somehow. 

I actually don’t mind getting to know you slowly.

Please know that I’m not in a hurry.

Hey, you don’t have to be sorry. 

And don’t you feel guilty.

I’m always here for you.

And I feel that you’re always there for me too. 

Even the most typical stories you could tell.

I’d still choose to listen to them all day. 

Why don’t we have coffee again?

I loved those mornings filled with smiles and laughters. 

I thank God everyday for making our paths cross.

I always pray that you’ll stick around for good. 

Because I’m sure I’d always annoy you for as long as I could.

I’d love to make more memories with you.

I’d love to share more meals with you.

I’d love to listen about how your day went. 

No matter how bad it is, I’ll find a way to make it a better one. 

It’s very rare for me to write when I’m happy.

I usually write when I’m lonely.

But this time, I’m writing because I’m grateful.

Because of you.

Let’s not rush things.

Everything will fall into place when God says it’s time.

Thank you for coming into my life.

Thank you for making things right.

💓 

“My Almost and Could have Been? I hope Not.” 

When we met I felt you were the one. 
The one who will give my life a different hue. 

The one who will make my mornings better than they were before. 

The one who will make me smile and laugh for sure.
Maybe I expected too much from you.

Everything I felt was too good to be true.

Or I guess I never should have expect anything from you.

For it only gave me hope that this dream of “us” will soon come true. 
I thought so it might lead into something romantic.

Everything that I felt was magic.

It came as a hurricane.

And destroyed me more than storms cause pain.
I never intended to bother you in any way.

I didn’t want to oblige you to talk to me everyday.

But I honestly prayed you’re here to stay.

And be with me till the end of day. 
Everyone asked if we have this special thing.

I could only smile and say nothing.

Because I honestly don’t know what we were.

Am I just a friend or is it something uncertain?
These feelings are something we couldn’t fake.

Maybe I was that risk you didn’t want to take.

And I was like a scar you’ve always hid.

Or A tear you never want to shed. 
Why didn’t you warn me before I fell?

I didn’t know that it will hurt like hell.

I want to get to know you well.

Your fears and awes to me you can always tell. 
I never want you to be my “almost”.

I constantly wished you’d be my “always.”

My “everytime” in this world full of “sometime”.

And not just my “could have been or would have been.”

When will you see your worth? 

You’re more than just a shoulder to lean on.

You’re more than just an option.

You’re a choice never a regret.

You’re real, better than dreams.

Never lose that self worth. 

You may not mean anything to him.

But you mean the world to others.

You’re beautiful.

You’re precious.

You just need the right guy to see your value.

The right guy who’ll love you so true.

The guy who’ll see all your efforts.

The guy who’ll always stick around just to annoy you.

Never settle for someone who doesn’t see your worth.

Never settle for someone who’s not aware of your pain.

Never settle for someone who doesn’t appreciate your efforts.

Never settle for someone who sees you as an option and a second choice.

I just want to forget you.

I want to forget you.

I want to forget how you made me happy effortlessly.

You made me laugh endlessly.

And even in my dreams I love you deeply.

But how do I forget you?

When every minute of everyday I think of you.

I just want to get over this feeling.

I actually got tired of hoping.

Of waiting that you’ll feel my presence.

And see my existence.

In your big world full of people who matter more than I do.

Help me forget you.

Make me feel worthless if you have to.

I just want to get over you.

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.

This pain I’ve been trying to endure.

I can’t wait until I get used to this pain.

I can’t wait until someone comes to ease the pain.

And that someone will surely make me happier than you did.

Will make me cry because of too much laughter.

Will teach me how to trust and believe in love again.

And Will make me feel that I’m worth all the time and all the love he’ll give. ❤️