Falling · Friendzone · Ikaw · Magmahal · Mahal · Masaktan · Pag-ibig · Sana · Someday

An Open Letter to my friend (whom I’ve fallen in love with…) 

Hi Love!

I always miss you.

I don’t know why I miss you even when you’re around.

How do I tell you how I feel?

should I even tell you about it?

You’ll be away for a while.

And I’m not sure how it’s like to spend the week without you.

How much more a month without you?

You have fun, my love.

I want to see you wear that heart-melting smile.

I want you to make unforgettable memories with your family.

I’d be happier just seeing you happy.

I’m excited to hear all your stories when you come back.

I’ll never get tired of listening to you.

Will you miss me too?

I don’t want to know if you do.

I already know the answer.

I don’t even have to ask. 

I love you still, my love.

Even though I’m not sure if you feel the same way. 

And even though I am just a friend to you.

I will always care for you.

I will miss you. 

I always will.

I can’t wait for you to come back. ❤️

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Blessing · Falling · for you · God gave me you · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · open letter · Pag-ibig · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

“My Almost and Could have Been? I hope Not.” 

When we met I felt you were the one. 
The one who will give my life a different hue. 

The one who will make my mornings better than they were before. 

The one who will make me smile and laugh for sure.
Maybe I expected too much from you.

Everything I felt was too good to be true.

Or I guess I never should have expect anything from you.

For it only gave me hope that this dream of “us” will soon come true. 
I thought so it might lead into something romantic.

Everything that I felt was magic.

It came as a hurricane.

And destroyed me more than storms cause pain.
I never intended to bother you in any way.

I didn’t want to oblige you to talk to me everyday.

But I honestly prayed you’re here to stay.

And be with me till the end of day. 
Everyone asked if we have this special thing.

I could only smile and say nothing.

Because I honestly don’t know what we were.

Am I just a friend or is it something uncertain?
These feelings are something we couldn’t fake.

Maybe I was that risk you didn’t want to take.

And I was like a scar you’ve always hid.

Or A tear you never want to shed. 
Why didn’t you warn me before I fell?

I didn’t know that it will hurt like hell.

I want to get to know you well.

Your fears and awes to me you can always tell. 
I never want you to be my “almost”.

I constantly wished you’d be my “always.”

My “everytime” in this world full of “sometime”.

And not just my “could have been or would have been.”

Blessing · Friendzone · love · Love advice · Magmahal · Pag-ibig · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

I just want to forget you.

I want to forget you.

I want to forget how you made me happy effortlessly.

You made me laugh endlessly.

And even in my dreams I love you deeply.

But how do I forget you?

When every minute of everyday I think of you.

I just want to get over this feeling.

I actually got tired of hoping.

Of waiting that you’ll feel my presence.

And see my existence.

In your big world full of people who matter more than I do.

Help me forget you.

Make me feel worthless if you have to.

I just want to get over you.

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.

This pain I’ve been trying to endure.

I can’t wait until I get used to this pain.

I can’t wait until someone comes to ease the pain.

And that someone will surely make me happier than you did.

Will make me cry because of too much laughter.

Will teach me how to trust and believe in love again.

And Will make me feel that I’m worth all the time and all the love he’ll give. ❤️ 

Crush · Falling · for you · God gave me you · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

Untitled feelings 

What should I feel?Why do I love you still?
Even if we’re together it seems like we’re apart.

Whatever I do I’ll never have your heart.
How do I get over this feeling? 

Thinking of you gives me trouble sleeping.
I kept loving you for two years now. 

It was a feeling I was too afraid to show.
I always want to spend time with you. 

And I’ll never get tired of loving you. 
You’re the best blessing God could ever give.

I wish that in my life you would never leave. 
Staring at you makes me fall in love more.

I hope you’re not closing your doors.
For a love that’s worth all the pain.

For a love that’s worth all the sacrifices. 

For a love that I’m willing to give. 
Even in my busiest days if it’s for you I will always find time.

No matter how tired I may get you turn my gray skies into sunshine. 

Can you just be mine? 
I have so many stories to tell.

If only to the world I could yell. 

With you I accidentally fell.
I saw how you sleep.

You’re like a baby dreaming so deep. 
I thank you for being such a gentleman.

When you knew I needed help you gently grabbed my hand.
Maybe you will forever be my surreal dream.

A dream I always pray for.

A dream I would want to come true.

We still don’t know what will happen.

You can fall for me or for someone else.

If we’re meant to be with each other.

Fate will make ways to help you realize that I will love you forever.

Blessing · Crush · English · Falling · for you · Friendzone · God gave me you · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · Mahal · open letter · Pag-ibig · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

2 years is never enough.

We met in 2014. At first I thought you were not that friendly but I was wrong, you were the sweetest I’ve met. ❤️

I was a complete stranger to you but you welcomed me into your life and I was kinda hoping you welcomed me into your heart too.

We were both single at that time. And I seriously prayed that you’ll notice me. The typical girl you bump into almost every week.

But you didn’t see me. It seems that you weren’t ready to love yet. I was willing to wait though.

Comes 2015, I told you how I felt. And I wasn’t surprised, I was just a friend to you. You said, you appreciate everything and I felt that.

Few months after, I still hoped you’d like me too. But then I found out you fell for someone else. You were courting someone else.

It broke my heart. I was in tears that night. I saw in your eyes how much you love her. And how much you’re willing to sacrifice for her.

I never saw you look at me that way. And it broke me inside. I said I should accept the fact that you will never like me. I said I should move on.

2016 is about to end and I’m still here waiting for you to notice my existence in your life. Waiting for you to realize I am the right person for you. 

It hurts me still seeing that even if she broke your heart you still love her. I guess we’re even. You’ve been hurting me unintentionally for 2 years but I’m still in love with you. 

2 years is never enough for you to fall in love with me. I guess I am that hard love. Thank you for the friendship. I still hope it will turn into something deeper. A relationship I never want to let go of. A relationship I would want to last for a lifetime. ❤️

I love you even if I don’t say it.

I love you even if we feel awkward at times.

I love you even if you can’t look at me in the eyes.

I love you even if you don’t feel the same.

I love you even if it breaks my heart everyday.

I love you even if you love her more. 

I love you my love.. ❤️

buslovestory · chivalry is not dead · Crush · Ikaw · love · love story · Sana · Singkit · Tagalog

“Bus Love story”

Kung merong Jeepney love story si Yeng Constantino, meron naman akong Bus love story.. 

Please don’t judge! Ngayon lang to promise! 

Monday is a busy day for most of us, lalo sa mga lumuluwas from their province to Manila. In my case, galing ako Pampanga pupunta ng Manila to get something I worked so hard for. Ang aking PRC license.

Syempre pinaghirapan ko yun, so kailangan kunin. Hahaha. Nagrereview palang ako para sa board exam naranasan ko na ang Monday madness sa pagsakay ng bus. Walang Monday na hindi standing papuntang Manila. Tama? Wala pa yatang Lunes na lumuwas ako at nakahanap ng mauupuan. In short, inexpect ko nang tatayo ako from San Fernando to Avenida. 

Hay! Sumakto pang umulan pagbaba ko ng jeep. At suot ko pang sapatos ay canvass, deretso sa medyas ang basa. Pag sineswerte ka nga naman! Nakita kong dumaan ang Bataan Transit na Avenida at nagtakbuhan ang mga tao papunta dun dahil sa biglang pagbuhos ng ulan. Ako naman, di ko na sinubukang tumakbo dahil baka madapa or madulas pa ako at lalong maiwanan ako ng bus. 

So, pagsakay ko ng bus. Ayos! Standing na! At di ko alam saan ako ppwesto. So ayun, nung dumaan sa Robinsons yung bus may mga ilan na bumaba. So medyo umasa akong may uupuan ako. Kaso yung mga lalaking kasabay ko, inunahan ako sa lahat ng upuan. Ang saya! Haha! Nang may isang mabakanteng upuan sa gawing likuran, May isang lalaki na tinuro yun at sinabing dun nalang ako maupo. Dahil ako lang yung babaeng nakatayo. Kaya lang, inunahan ako ng isa pang lalaki. Kaya nagreact siya “Yun lang!” Sabay ngiti. 

Naka-cap siya na nike, Naka-gray siya na shirt, Naka-vans na shoes at naka-Iphone. Noong una hindi ko masyado napansin ang kanyang mukha dahil wala akong salamin. Hahaha. Uy! Meron pa palang isang upuan, yung upuan na nilalagay sa aisle ng bus at sinabi niyang dun nalang daw ako maupo. 

So ayun, pag-upo ko sinuot ko kaagad yung salamin ko. Uy ha! Wag judgmental! Hindi ko sinuot yun para lang makita siya ng mas malinaw, kundi dahil masakit yung ulo ko pag hindi ko yun suot. Though syempre nakatulong yun para mas makita ko siya. Hahaha! Nung lumapit na yung kunduktor para mamigay ng ticket una siyang binigyan kasi nga nasa harapan ko siya. Tinanong siya “Estudyante po?” Nilabas niya yung ID niya at sobrang linaw ng mata ko, nakita ko “UST”. At nung ako na yung tingnan ng konduktor sabi ko “Avenida po”. Tinanong din ako, “Estudyante po?” at ang sagot ko. “Hindi po”. Naramdaman kong nagulat siya ng bahagya nung marinig niya yun.

Malamang iniisip niya na matanda nako. Hmm! Kainis! hahahaha! Habang nagbbyahe, hindi ko alam if nagffeeling lang ako or napapatingin siya sa akin. Or baka nagffeeling nga lang ako! Hahaha! Sorry na! Pero siguro naman napapalingon siya kahit konti! Grabe naman kayo! Hahaha! So ayun, pareho lang kami naka-headset buong byahe nakikinig ng music.

Gusto ko sanang pa-Thank you sakanya dahil imbis na siya yung umupo dun, ako pinaupo niya. Kaso nahihiya ako. So ayun, may biglang bumaba, so nakaupo na ako ng maayos. Ineexpect ko na uupo kaagad siya dun sa inupuan ko, kaso tinanong niya muna ako habang tinuturo yung upuan. Tumango nalang ako, saka siya umupo. at patuloy na nakinig ng music. Hahahaha! 

Gusto ko na siya kausapin, kaso wala pa rin ako lakas ng loob. Hahaha! Char. So hinayaan ko na lang. Nang may biglang bumaba ulit, dalawa! So umupo siya. Tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko para umupo sa tabi niya para mas madali makababa at dahil gusto ko nga pa-Thank you. Kaso nahihiya pa din ako. Hanggang marealize ko na, malapit na bumaba. Edi nagkapal na ako ng mukha. Inhale, Exhale! Go! 

Ako :”Excuse me, pwedeng magtanong?” 

Siya: Ano po yun?

Ako: Taga UST ka ba? Hmm kasi gusto ko makarating kaagad sa PRC alam mo ba kung 

saan ako bababa at anong sasakyan ko papunta dun? 

Siya: Opo, bababa po dun sa may Goldilocks tapos magttricycle papuntang PRC. Sakto dun din naman po ang punta ko, sa may FEU. 

Okay, so ayun! Hahaha! Kapal ng mukha ko. My gosh! Sobrang nice niya, kaso nga lang nagpo-Po siya! So, porket nagwwork nako super tanda ko na? ganern?! Pero keri lang! Hahaha! So bumaba na nga kami! Pero promise! Di ko alam kung saan bababa! Gusto ko lang makarating kaagad! Ayun nga, pagbaba.

Ako: Hmm wala bang jeep papunta dun?

Siya: Wala po eh. Tricycle lang. Yun lang ang mahirap dito. Malayo naman kung lalakarin.

Ako: I’m so lost! Huhu

Siya: First time niyo po ba pupunta dun?

Ako: Hindi naman kaso, dati bumababa pa ako sa Avenida. Feeling ko napapalayo ako. 

Hanggang tinanong niya yung isang tricycle driver.

Siya: PRC po?

Tumango naman yung driver at nagback ride siya. 

Ako: Dito ka nalang sa loob.

Siya: Hindi po dito na lang ako. Okay lang ako dito.

*Guys syempre kawawa naman! Cutie niya tas mauusukan siya dun sa likod! Hahahaha! 

So ayun, siguro may 10 minutes din byahe namin papuntang PRC pero mas napabilis kesa kung bumaba ako sa Avenida. So pagbaba, agad niyang inabot yung 100 pesos niya dun sa driver. Kaso habang kausap niya yung kaibigan niya. Sabi ng driver “Wala po kayong barya?” Sumagot ako, “Magkano po ba?” 60 daw, so binayaran ko na habang busy siya. Binalik ko sakanya yung 100. 

Siya: Ha, Magkano po? Wala kasi akong barya, papalit ko lang muna dito tapos bayaran ko kayo.

Ako: Nako hindi na. Okay na.

Siya: Hindi po babayaran ko. O kaya bilhan ko nalang kayo ng inumin dito. Please.

Ako: *Nakikita kong nagblush siya sa hiya* Hindi na okay lang talaga. Okay na yun. At least di ako naligaw.

Siya: Hmm. Sige po. Thank you!

Ako: Thank you rin!

 


Ayun guys! THE END! Nganga ang ending. Ayos ba? HAHAHAHAHA! 🙂

THANKS FOR READING! 🙂 

 

 

chinito · English · for you · love · open letter · Sana · Singkit · Uncategorized

Dear Chinito

Chinito’s don’t usually fascinate me.
It’s quite a suprise I got fascinated by you.
Maybe you’re more than typical chinito guys people meet everyday.
And maybe I saw something in you, I don’t usually see in other people.
You’re nice but you definitely have a crazy side.
You seem quiet but you know when to tell stories.
You’re a tease but you know when to stop teasing.
You’re cute but you’re not aware of that cuteness.
Yes, I know, You’re not perfect but you are different.
And being different makes you stand out from the other guys.
Your stare (gosh that stare!)
It’s melting my heart.
It touches my deeper being.
Yes your eyes are chinky but they express so much emotions you can’t lie about.
I just feel that I can trust you.
That I can tell you thoughts I never want other people know.
I feel safe when I’m with you.
But I guess, we’re just destined to meet.
We’re not destined to fall in love with each other.
You’re younger.
You’re wiser.
You’re rich and I’m not.
I’m not your type.
I believe all these prove that nothing will ever prosper.
But if it does, I’d gladly welcome you into my boring but crazy life. ❤️

Crush · Falling · Friendzone · love · Magmahal · Mahal · Sana · Tagalog · Tambay · Uncategorized

Tambay sa “Friendzone”

Gusto ko na yata bigyan ang sarili ko ng award “Most Friendzoned” Awardee 

Nakakatawa lang no? Haha. 

Pero totoo yun.

For the past 3 years tumambay na yata ako sa friendzone.

Walang manliligaw, kung meron man hindi naman seryoso.

Walang nagkakagusto, kung meron man hindi naman pwede.

Walang nagtatangkang lumapit, ewan ko ba baka nasusungitan sakin?

Masakit ang mga katotohanang yun.

Kasi mapapaisip ka, “Ano kaya mali sakin? Bakit ako naffriendzone?”

Yung pakiramdam na “Not good enough” for anyone. 

Yung wala pa man sa getting to know stage, pinaparamdam na sa’yo na. 

“Friends naman tayo di ba?” 

“Mas okay kung friends di ba?”

“Mas tatagal tayo kung friends eh.”

Gasgas na mga linya.

Laging ganon ang punchline eh! Haha. 

Somehow, dahil sa pain and frustrations ko sa lovelife ko.

Nagkaroon ako ng panahon para mas kilalanin ang sarili ko.

Mas mahalin ang sarili ko.

Kung magmamahal man, magtitira ako para sa akin.

Hindi lahat ibinibigay.

At syempre magbago, para sakin at hindi para sa kahit sino. 

And later on, nasanay na ako sa lugar na to. 

Sa lugar ko.

Sa friendzone. 

Nasanay na ako na kaibigan lang.

Tagapayo, Karamay, Tagapakinig sa mga problema at hinaing.

Hindi na hihigit pa dun.

Siguro, malay natin? hindi pa lang ngayon.

Pero darating din yung taong mag-aahon sakin sa friendzone.

Yung taong ipararamdam sakin ang halaga ko.

Yung taong mamahalin ako kahit hindi ako perpekto.

Hindi man siya yung inaasam kong tao, pero baka higit pa siya sa inaasahan ko. ❤️

God gave me you · Ikaw · love · Magmahal · Mahal · Pag-ibig · Sana · Tagalog · Uncategorized

Para sa lalaking takot pang magmahal muli.

Alam ko malabong mabasa mo ito.

Sana hindi mo ito mabasa kung sakali.

Alam ko rin maraming mga tao ang nagtataka, kung bakit ikaw.

Ang dami naman daw.

Pero bakit ikaw?

Bakit nga ba?

Hindi ko rin alam.

Ang alam ko lang, gusto pa kitang mas makilala.

Dalawang buwan na ang nakaraan simula ng naging malapit tayo sa isa’t isa.

Dahil lamang sa outing natin.

Dalawang buwan na rin kitang nais kausapin.

Bakit ang bait mo sakin?

Bakit may iba akong naramdaman?

Gusto kong malaman.

Bakit bigla mo nalang ako iniiwasan?

Oo nag-uusap tayo, pero naiilang ka.

Ramdam ko, kinakausap mo lang ako. 

Dahil kailangan.

Nakokonsensya ako, dahil hinuhusgahan ka ng iba.

Bakit nga ba?

Dahil sa nararamdaman kong ito.

Ang dami kong gustong itanong.

Sa dalawang buwan na iyon, gustong gusto kitang kausapin.

Pero di ko alam papaano.

Gustong gusto ko ‘tong ayusin.

Pero paano?

Para bang ayaw mo.

Galit ka ba?

May tampo?

Sabihin mo naman sakin.

Nang hindi ako nababaliw sa kaiisip.

Anong mali ang nagawa ko?

Kasalanan ko rin siguro na nalaman mo ang nararamdaman ko.

Kaya ayaw mo lang din siguro ako saktan.

O baka ayaw mo pang magmahal muli?

Natatakot ka bang magmahal muli?

Sino bang hindi?

O siguro, Wala pa sa isip mo ang mga ganitong bagay.

Marahil, Hindi ako ganoon kahalaga para panghinayangan mo.

Sa ngayon, puro tanong ang bumabalot sa isip ko. 

Tanong na hanggang ngayon wala pa ring kasagutan. 

Puro siguro, Puro bakit, Puro baka.

Walang kasiguraduhan ang lahat.

Pero ganoon pa man, Nais kong malaman mo.

Kahit walang sigurado.

Gusto kong subukan.

Malay mo sa pagkakataong ito.

Tamang tao na ang mamahalin ko. 😊