Beautiful · Beauty · Define beauty · Someday

Self Esteem? Self Confidence?

I know I often write stuff about love.

But this time I’m writing something different.

I’ve been struggling these past few weeks because of acne.

I’ve been having breakouts for less than a month now so I’ve decided to visit a Dermatologist.

It’s the worst I’ve felt so far.

Everyone’s been asking..

“What happened to your face?”

“Why do you have lots of pimples?”

“Why don’t you visit a dermatologist?”

“You used to have flawless skin! What happened?” 

I honestly don’t know how to answer these questions.

Are these even questions or criticisms?

It hurts me so much.

I feel very ugly everyday. 

and I’ve been feeling really down.

I don’t even want to go out.

Or go to work.

I even want to wear a mask even when I’m on my way home. 

I’m taking medications given by my dermatologist for 10 days now (but she informed me that I’ll have breakouts for the first month.)

I can’t wait for my meds to take effect.

I’m tired of people looking at my face like they’re disgusted.

I mean, Who wants to have acne?

Who wants to have blemished skin?

I bet no one.

I don’t get it why people become so insensitive.

People have become very shallow.

All they can see is the imperfect you.

The flawed you.

The ugly in you.

Nobody is perfect.

So don’t expect me to be perfect.

People tend to forget to see beyond the physical appearance.

The heart.

The soul.

The kindness within.

I’m not surprised why a lot of people get depressed because of insensitive criticisms.

Where do I get my self esteem?

Where do I get the self confidence that I’m slowly losing? 

Why do people have to criticize if they are truly concerned about you?

I can’t wait to regain what I’ve lost and what I’m losing.

I can’t wait to get better. 

I can’t wait to have my old self back.

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Falling · for you · love · love story · Magmahal · Masaktan · Pag-ibig · secret love · Self worth · Someday · Unnoticed

Bakit ikaw?

Minsan iniisip ko..

Kung bakit sa’yo nahulog ako..

Hindi ka nga perpekto..

Pero ikaw pa rin ang mahal ko..

Ni minsan hindi mo ako nakita..

At hindi ako sigurado kung ako ba’y iyong naaalala…

Ang hirap ng ganito..

Nagmamahal ng patago..

Walang kasiguraduhan.. 

Sugal ang nararamdaman.

Kung pwede lang turuan ang puso.

Matagal ko nang ginawa ito.

Kayhirap mong bitawan.

Kayhirap mong kalimutan.

Kahit wala naman tayong nakaraan.

Lagi kong dinadasal.

Na sana ikaw na ang bigay ng Maykapal.

At sana mapagod na rin ako.

Sa pagmamahal sa’yo.

At nang matigil na ang kagagahang ito.

Ayoko na ring umasa sa wala. 

Sakit lang ang laging napapala. 

Falling · Friendzone · Ikaw · Magmahal · Mahal · Masaktan · Pag-ibig · Sana · Someday

An Open Letter to my friend (whom I’ve fallen in love with…) 

Hi Love!

I always miss you.

I don’t know why I miss you even when you’re around.

How do I tell you how I feel?

should I even tell you about it?

You’ll be away for a while.

And I’m not sure how it’s like to spend the week without you.

How much more a month without you?

You have fun, my love.

I want to see you wear that heart-melting smile.

I want you to make unforgettable memories with your family.

I’d be happier just seeing you happy.

I’m excited to hear all your stories when you come back.

I’ll never get tired of listening to you.

Will you miss me too?

I don’t want to know if you do.

I already know the answer.

I don’t even have to ask. 

I love you still, my love.

Even though I’m not sure if you feel the same way. 

And even though I am just a friend to you.

I will always care for you.

I will miss you. 

I always will.

I can’t wait for you to come back. ❤️

Blessing · God is good · Leaving · Life · love · Love advice · Pag-ibig · Pray · Rain · Right time · Self worth · Someday

Thoughts on a rainy night.

And so I thought this rain,

Will bring me chills instead of pain.

I know these tears won’t ever fall.

For the person who doesn’t deserve these at all.

Oh dear self, you know how fragile you always get.

Don’t ever do something you might regret.

Keep those worth keeping.

Leave those worth leaving.

To those people who don’t seem to appreciate you,

Let them go if they want to.

Once they’ve realized your value, 

They’ll do everything just to have you.

But then, you’ll be the best thing they’ll never have.

Forgive even if you’re hurt.

Smile even if it’s hard.

Dear, you deserve so much more

and that’s for sure.

Allow the rain to wash your pain.

Let your tears take away those fears.

You’ll be okay in time.

Just when the sun shines.

You’ll be more than fine.

God has better plans.

He’ll make you happy in the best way that He can.

Trust His perfect timing.

Because He never wants to see you hurting.

Stay happy, stay bubbly.

For tomorrow should never make you worry. 

Good things will come your way.

So please don’t let temporary people ruin your day.

Everything’s going to be okay.

Just close your eyes and Pray. 💓🙏🏻 

for you · God gave me you · Ikaw · open letter · Right person · Right time · Someday

Slowly but surely

Right now one thing’s certain, You make me really happy.

Thank you for treating me nicely.

When I felt like everyone’s giving up on me.

I’m not really hard to please.

A simple phone call or text message.. I’d be at ease.

Yes, we are friends right now.

What is to come .. is still unsure somehow. 

I actually don’t mind getting to know you slowly.

Please know that I’m not in a hurry.

Hey, you don’t have to be sorry. 

And don’t you feel guilty.

I’m always here for you.

And I feel that you’re always there for me too. 

Even the most typical stories you could tell.

I’d still choose to listen to them all day. 

Why don’t we have coffee again?

I loved those mornings filled with smiles and laughters. 

I thank God everyday for making our paths cross.

I always pray that you’ll stick around for good. 

Because I’m sure I’d always annoy you for as long as I could.

I’d love to make more memories with you.

I’d love to share more meals with you.

I’d love to listen about how your day went. 

No matter how bad it is, I’ll find a way to make it a better one. 

It’s very rare for me to write when I’m happy.

I usually write when I’m lonely.

But this time, I’m writing because I’m grateful.

Because of you.

Let’s not rush things.

Everything will fall into place when God says it’s time.

Thank you for coming into my life.

Thank you for making things right.

💓 

Blessing · Falling · for you · God gave me you · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · open letter · Pag-ibig · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

“My Almost and Could have Been? I hope Not.” 

When we met I felt you were the one. 
The one who will give my life a different hue. 

The one who will make my mornings better than they were before. 

The one who will make me smile and laugh for sure.
Maybe I expected too much from you.

Everything I felt was too good to be true.

Or I guess I never should have expect anything from you.

For it only gave me hope that this dream of “us” will soon come true. 
I thought so it might lead into something romantic.

Everything that I felt was magic.

It came as a hurricane.

And destroyed me more than storms cause pain.
I never intended to bother you in any way.

I didn’t want to oblige you to talk to me everyday.

But I honestly prayed you’re here to stay.

And be with me till the end of day. 
Everyone asked if we have this special thing.

I could only smile and say nothing.

Because I honestly don’t know what we were.

Am I just a friend or is it something uncertain?
These feelings are something we couldn’t fake.

Maybe I was that risk you didn’t want to take.

And I was like a scar you’ve always hid.

Or A tear you never want to shed. 
Why didn’t you warn me before I fell?

I didn’t know that it will hurt like hell.

I want to get to know you well.

Your fears and awes to me you can always tell. 
I never want you to be my “almost”.

I constantly wished you’d be my “always.”

My “everytime” in this world full of “sometime”.

And not just my “could have been or would have been.”

Blessing · Coffee · God gave me you · Life · open letter · Someday · Uncategorized

To my Coffee Buddy

Hi! I can’t sleep tonight.

Definitely not the caffeine.

Maybe it’s my mind saying.

“You should just stop overthinking.”

Now. 

I’m not sure how fast or slow did it go. 

But i’m sure it started with a simple “hello”. 

We’ve been enjoying coffee together now. 

And shared several mornings somehow. 

We’ve had good laughs.

And we tease each other alot. 

As days pass by, you’re becoming part of my  life.

You’ve brought me endless smiles.

You take all the stress away.

No therapy involved. (LOL)

Just your thoughtfulness,

Your concern and your time.

Can I just ask?

Will you stay for good?

Or will you eventually leave like most of them did?

I’m so afraid to get left behind.

I’m so done with all these pain.

Please don’t turn my sunshine into rain.

I want to share more stories with you.

More laughs with you.

More coffee with you.

Nothing will ever be certain today.

But I’m hoping you’re here to stay.

Wherever this may lead us.

Let’s take risks and trust.

My coffee buddy for always. ☕️

Blessing · Friendzone · love · Love advice · Magmahal · Pag-ibig · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

I just want to forget you.

I want to forget you.

I want to forget how you made me happy effortlessly.

You made me laugh endlessly.

And even in my dreams I love you deeply.

But how do I forget you?

When every minute of everyday I think of you.

I just want to get over this feeling.

I actually got tired of hoping.

Of waiting that you’ll feel my presence.

And see my existence.

In your big world full of people who matter more than I do.

Help me forget you.

Make me feel worthless if you have to.

I just want to get over you.

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.

This pain I’ve been trying to endure.

I can’t wait until I get used to this pain.

I can’t wait until someone comes to ease the pain.

And that someone will surely make me happier than you did.

Will make me cry because of too much laughter.

Will teach me how to trust and believe in love again.

And Will make me feel that I’m worth all the time and all the love he’ll give. ❤️ 

Crush · Falling · for you · God gave me you · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

Untitled feelings 

What should I feel?Why do I love you still?
Even if we’re together it seems like we’re apart.

Whatever I do I’ll never have your heart.
How do I get over this feeling? 

Thinking of you gives me trouble sleeping.
I kept loving you for two years now. 

It was a feeling I was too afraid to show.
I always want to spend time with you. 

And I’ll never get tired of loving you. 
You’re the best blessing God could ever give.

I wish that in my life you would never leave. 
Staring at you makes me fall in love more.

I hope you’re not closing your doors.
For a love that’s worth all the pain.

For a love that’s worth all the sacrifices. 

For a love that I’m willing to give. 
Even in my busiest days if it’s for you I will always find time.

No matter how tired I may get you turn my gray skies into sunshine. 

Can you just be mine? 
I have so many stories to tell.

If only to the world I could yell. 

With you I accidentally fell.
I saw how you sleep.

You’re like a baby dreaming so deep. 
I thank you for being such a gentleman.

When you knew I needed help you gently grabbed my hand.
Maybe you will forever be my surreal dream.

A dream I always pray for.

A dream I would want to come true.

We still don’t know what will happen.

You can fall for me or for someone else.

If we’re meant to be with each other.

Fate will make ways to help you realize that I will love you forever.

Blessing · Crush · English · Falling · for you · Friendzone · God gave me you · Ikaw · love · love story · Magmahal · Mahal · open letter · Pag-ibig · Right person · Right time · Sana · Someday

2 years is never enough.

We met in 2014. At first I thought you were not that friendly but I was wrong, you were the sweetest I’ve met. ❤️

I was a complete stranger to you but you welcomed me into your life and I was kinda hoping you welcomed me into your heart too.

We were both single at that time. And I seriously prayed that you’ll notice me. The typical girl you bump into almost every week.

But you didn’t see me. It seems that you weren’t ready to love yet. I was willing to wait though.

Comes 2015, I told you how I felt. And I wasn’t surprised, I was just a friend to you. You said, you appreciate everything and I felt that.

Few months after, I still hoped you’d like me too. But then I found out you fell for someone else. You were courting someone else.

It broke my heart. I was in tears that night. I saw in your eyes how much you love her. And how much you’re willing to sacrifice for her.

I never saw you look at me that way. And it broke me inside. I said I should accept the fact that you will never like me. I said I should move on.

2016 is about to end and I’m still here waiting for you to notice my existence in your life. Waiting for you to realize I am the right person for you. 

It hurts me still seeing that even if she broke your heart you still love her. I guess we’re even. You’ve been hurting me unintentionally for 2 years but I’m still in love with you. 

2 years is never enough for you to fall in love with me. I guess I am that hard love. Thank you for the friendship. I still hope it will turn into something deeper. A relationship I never want to let go of. A relationship I would want to last for a lifetime. ❤️

I love you even if I don’t say it.

I love you even if we feel awkward at times.

I love you even if you can’t look at me in the eyes.

I love you even if you don’t feel the same.

I love you even if it breaks my heart everyday.

I love you even if you love her more. 

I love you my love.. ❤️